なぜザンビアなのか
　考えた末、「国際協力、ボランティア」----言葉にするとこれが私のやりたいことだった。誰かに言われるのではないし、誰かに用意されたものでもない。ただ、自分の内なるところから出てきた衝動で、自分に何ができるのかと考えた。そこに行って、実際に彼らが必要としていることをしたかったため、何をするのか具体的に決めずにザンビアに入った。単純すぎると自分でも思うが、気持ちに正直になっただけだから、後悔や躊躇（ちゅうちょ）はない。

　ザンビアを選んだきっかけは実は大学の先輩。そしてその先輩がザンビアに行ったきっかけとなったジャーナリストの佐藤慧さん。このふたりに出会わなければ、私はザンビアを選んでいなかった。聞いたことのないアフリカの国、そしてイメージも湧きにくい。だからこそザンビアを選んだ。そしてアフリカの中では治安が安定している国で、公用語は英語。ぴったりだった。初めは「流されてもいいのか」という戸惑いもあったが、すべては"縁"、そして先輩達がザンビアに引き付けられる理由も知りたかった。しかし、行くのが怖くなって断念しまうのが嫌だったため、いろんな人に宣言し、行かざるを得ない状況に自らを追い込んだ。

女一人というリスク
　一人で出る初めての海外。紹介してもらった当地の人はいたけれど、まともに連絡も取れず地方に住んでいるため、誰も知らないも同然。出会った人に助けてもらいながらの生活。黒人ばっかりの街。しばらく、空腹も眠気も疲れも感じない緊張に満ちた日が続いた。

　生活に慣れてきてからは男性に恐怖を感じていた。1日何人にも電話番号を聞かれ、断れば「何でだ!」と叫ばれ、投げキッスをしてくる人もいれば、家まで友達になりたいと嘆願しにくる人、など等。笑い話や自慢話にもなるが、私にとっては恐怖以外の何ものでもない。特に知らない男性に対しての恐怖心は今でも強く、どうすれば誰にも話しかけられずに過ごせるか真面目に考えていた。

最後に～"頭の中の色が変わる"感覚を味わっている日々
　今回やりたいことを色々挑戦して感じたもの、それは「やってみなきゃわからない!!」ってことだ。思い描いたボランティア、これから学びたい国際貿易、憧れの雑貨バイヤー、どれも専門知識があるわけではないけれど、実際に挑戦してみることで具体性が見え、自分に足りないところが見えてきた。日本と異なる物ばかりのアフリカから、自分自身や日本人の大きな可能性を教えてもらった。

　そして私は今、「頭の中の色が変わる」感覚をザンビアで日々味わっている。

プロフィール
鹿田　佐くら
twitter：sakush09
日記「さくらのブログ」：http://ameblo.jp/sakush09/
E-mail：kerarakare@yahoo.co.jp

※ＪＧＡＰメモ
ザンビア
ザンビアは、アフリカ南部にある内陸国。共和制国家。2010年に発表された世界平和度指数ランキングで149か国中51位、アフリカでもっとも平和な国の一つとして評価されている。この国と南隣のジンバブエとの国境に流れるザンベジ川には、世界三大瀑布（ばくふ）の一つと称される「ビィクトリアの滝」がある。アフリカを代表する動物である像、カバ、キリン、シマウマも多く住み、大自然が残されている。

Unexpected and Amazing Experiences Each Day in Zambia
Sakura SHIKADA

My First Trip Abroad Through Volunteering Activities
My first overseas volunteering activity was in The Malaysia, where I went with 20 circle members. The family we supported was generally described as a poor family. I also thought the area was highlighted as a "poor living environment". We stayed this in area and were engaged in construction activities.

Are we "active students"?
On our return to Japan, we began a campaign in order to promote our activities in Kyusyu. By bicycle, we collected contributions and made presentations, we also camped out so that we may realize the warmth and importance of family. Meeting with many high schools, university students and passersby, we made every effort to tell all of what we had thought and seen.

My role was in marketing, visiting media and promoting our activities. While I was visiting, many adults would say, "We respect your activities because although you are university students, you are also engaged in voluntary activities". However, saying this didn't seem quite right to me somehow. Yes, I did part-time jobs for this activity; I invested my summer vacation which university students can use for recreation, this gave me a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction from the activity. Finally I thought my activity was not as great an achievement as many of the adults had said. I can join and continue this activity as long as I pay a fee. I seriously considered whether it was as good as it seems, and whether I would continue from now on.

Why Zambia?
With much consideration, I decided what I wanted to do. To explain briefly, it is "International Corporation and Volunteering Activities". It is neither obligatory nor prepared by anyone. It's my inner instinct - I considered what I should do. My conclusion was to go there and do what people there needed. So I visited Zambia without any concrete plans. I know I was a too simple-minded person, but I was just honest to myself. I had no regrets or hesitations for my action.

To tell the truth, the origin of my choice of Zambia was a man of experience in my university. Furthermore, the reason he chose Zambia was a journalist, Kei Sato. If I hadn't met with those two people, I wouldn't have chosen Zambia. Zambia is unknown African country. I had very few images. Therefore, it was my choice. Searching information, I knew this country's peace was comparatively stable and that the common language was English. Though I was unsure of following other people, I also realized that I had met them by chance. Moreover, I also wanted to know whey Zambia fascinated them. I hated that I hadn't been able to go because of anxiety and fear, so I told my plan to everyone so that I forced myself to go.

Girl-alone risk
It was my first time abroad alone. I knew some people in Zambia by introduction, but I couldn't contact them so often because they lived in rural areas. I was very alone. Many people who I had met by chance helped me out a lot. Only local people were there. A few days after arrival, I was far too nervous to even feel any hunger, sleepiness nor fatigue.

As I was used to my home life, I became very scared of men. So many people asked me for my phone number. If I refused, they got angry. Some threw kisses at me, others visited my flat saying that they wanted to become friends. It would be a funny story or story of bravery, but it brought nothing but fear for me. I have a strong fear of men who I do not know now. I considered how I could spend my days without any conversation.

The Days are so Stimulating that my Outlook has been Changed Totally.
Through this experience, doing anything that I want to try, I learned one thing, that situations will stay unknown unless I try them. I had three big experiences in Zambia - volunteering that I had imagined, international trade that I want to study from now on, and grocery buying which I envied. Though I don't have enough technical knowledge, I found some stability and noticed what I was lacking. I could see this through my challenges.
Africa, where everything is different from Japan, showed me the potential of myself and Japan.

I live in Zambia and face many "mind-changing" experiences everyday.

(Translated by Tatsuya YABUUCHI, and revised by Sakura SHIKADA)