旅に出てtwitterを始めた19歳までの間、僕の日本社会に対する印象はかたよったものだった。サラリーマンがデスクにて"カチカチ"とパソコンの音を鳴らせ、奴隷のようにみにくく働いていると思っていた。その頃はそんなサラリーマンにだけはなりたくないと強く思っていた。なぜ、自分の命をもっと社会や世界に生かさないのだろうかと考えていた。何故なら、僕は長い間"自殺志願者"だったからだ。「幸せとは何か」について考えていなかったし、随分無教養で無知だった。

ある方程式
　 さて、アフリカへと僕を導いた出来事は16歳の時に起こった。僕は高校一年生の時に"社会科特別授業"の実行委員長をしていた。その授業の講師に来られたのが、NPOテラ・ルネッサンス理事長の鬼丸昌也さんだった。この授業で最も衝撃的だったのは、「日本は経済発展し、自殺者が多い。その一方、アフリカは経済発展していないが、自殺者は少ない」という方程式だった。この方程式を聞いた時、自分はアフリカに行く必要がある、自分は何かしらこの道に関わりながら歩むのだと確信した。しかし、5年が経ち、現実を見た今、アフリカに命を燃やそうとは思ってはいない。何故なら、支援に対する考え方が変化してしまったからだ。

　僕がここで語るべきは「なぜ、僕は大学を辞めてアフリカに行ったか」だ。その理由は、学びにおいて素晴らしい環境であるICUを生かすためだった。学ぶ前にアフリカの現実を見ることで、自分が学びたいことをより広げ、深められると信じた。退学を選んだ理由は、休学して"復学"よりも一旦退学して"再入学"の方が費用的に安価だったからだ。更に、日本の学生証がこのアフリカでさしたる意味を持つとは思えなかった。

文化の中の圧力
　話は変わって、セネガルで会った二人の男性を紹介したい。一人は25歳のスイス人、マーティン。彼は20歳くらいに約２年間かけて世界一周をしたらしい。彼は数カ月働いた後、3ヶ月程度の旅を再びしていた。個人的に彼の気に入った点は、22歳から始めた音楽。僕の前でギターも歌も下手くそな彼のオリジナル曲を歌ってくれた。彼はこれからも"働いて旅する"を続けるそうだ。もう一人は37歳のアメリカ人、クリス。彼とは一晩飲んで話しただけだった。彼は大学を卒業し30歳になった頃、デンマークの大学院に進学した。会ったときは彼はフランス語を勉強している途中だった。これからは「自然災害に対する処置について」の研究をするために、再び大学院に行きたいと言っていた。

　ここで、僕の三年間について挟みたい。僕はこの二年間、島根の海士（あま）町、上関原発計画があった祝島、大間原発計画地である大間を訪れ、町おこしアクション、そして栃木にあるアジア学院では農業をした。旅を終えた今、自分が働きたい方向が見つかったので、2012年度は働くことがテーマだ。そして来年2013年には大学に再入学する予定だ。

これからの歩み
マーティン、クリス、そして僕の3年間の退学から言いたいことはこういうことだ。「人生の歩み方は決まってない。いつ海外に行っても、いつ勉強しても、いつ何を始めてもいいのだ。」日本にこだわる必要はないし、言語は勉強すればどうにかなる。4年間大学に在籍して就職して結婚して子供を産んで死ぬ必要はない。高校卒業した後にアルバイトをしてお金をためて勉強しながら旅をして、その後に大学に入学してもいいはずだ。就職後、退職して海外へ出て帰国した時に自分の生活を保てるスキルさえあればどこでも生きていける。全ては個人の"意志"にかかっている。

　日本には、もはや文化と化した"圧力"がある。それは同調圧力や出る杭を打たれること、自殺を生み出してしまう環境を意味する。それを"生きにくさ"と呼ぶ人もいる。4年間大学をストレートで卒業するのが"当然"だとか、新卒採用される"べき"だとか。もちろん、優秀な人はどんどん働いてもらって構わないし、その中でも旅に出たいと思ったら出ればいい。何か始めたいなら始めればいい。そして、僕はICUの優秀な人たちと比べれば知識的に随分劣る。だから競争からずれた。"逃げることも生きる一つの手段"だ。圧力から逃れた先に自分が収まる場所が見つかる可能性があると僕は信じている。

プロフィール
石川 純
ツイッター：@yxgo
フェイスブック：Jun Ishikawa
メールアドレス：yago0907@gmail.com

ご参考：NPOテラ・ルネッサンス：http://www.terra-r.jp/

Why Did I Dropped Out Of University And Went To Africa?
Jun Ishikawa（A Japanese Gapper）

Economic growth and suicide
Japan used to be the second highest GDP country in the world. However, many Japanese have committed suicide by hanging, drowning and even entering the forests never to return. The number of suicides has increased and even well known public figures have killed themselves. I was born in Akita prefecture, where the percentage of suicides was the highest among all prefectures and it is still breaking the records now. Living in such an environment, I began to refuse to attend school and I too considered suicide.

The image I had for Japanese society was negative until I was 19 years old, the age I started travelling and using Twitter. I had seen how salaried workers appear to be 'slaves' to their keyboards and I had decided I didn't want to become such a person. As I had been considering suicide for so long, I hadn't given happiness much though and felt I had become uncultured and ignorant.

I faced an equation
When I was 16 years old, I chaired the committee of "Special Class of Social Studies". The lecturer introduced us to the administrative director of 'NPO Terra Renaissance'. This introduction immediately had an impact on me. I began to see that Japan's economy grows but Japan has a high number of suicides, on the other hand Africa's economy lacks growth but Africa has very few incidents of suicide. When I heard this equation, I decided that I wanted to go to Africa and felt that I may have been destined to gain experience from Africa. After five years however, as I looked at the reality in Africa, I decided I'll not use my life for Africa, because my idea for supporting Africa had changed.

I should explain at this point why I dropped out of school and went to Africa. This was mainly to make use of the university's excellent environment for study. Looking at the opportunities available in Africa before I continued my study, I considered I could broaden my horizons and extend what I wanted to study. However, the main reason I chose to drop out of university was in fact financial. The cost to drop out and re-enroll was less expensive than being absent. Also, I didn't at all consider the value of being a university student in Africa.

The oppression among culture
I would like to introduce two men I met in Senegal. Martin is a 25-year-old Swiss. He spent about two years travelling around the world when he was 20. After finishing travelling, he worked several months and then quitted to travel again. What I found interesting was that he became interested in music at the age of 22. He performed his original songs with his guitar for me. I heard that he would continue travelling with work. There was also Chris, a 37-year-old American. I spent only one evening with him while we were drinking. When Chris graduated from university and became 30, he went to Denmark to get a Master's degree. When I met with him, he was studying French. Chris told me that he wanted to study for the other degree in order to research about the disposals of natural disaster.

I would also like to explain how I spent my previous three years. Within this three years, I visited a town in Shimane Prefecture, Iwaishima Island in Yamaguchi Prefecture, which has the problem of constructing a nuclear power plant and Oma in Aomori Prefecture, where there is an ongoing project to construct a new nuclear power plant. I contributed to the revitalization of the town and also learned agriculture at another university in Tochigi. As I finished my travelling, I found my direction for working so I'm going to work in 2012, and then I'll re-enroll in the university in 2013.

My way from now on
Through three people's lives - Martin's, Chris's and my own (mine especially through my three year study gap) I have discovered, there are restricted forms of life. It's Okay to go abroad, start studying or do anything at anytime. You don't have to cling only to in Japan. You can overcome language barriers by through study. You don't have to stay and graduate from university in four years, work, marry, have a baby and die. It is Okay to work in a part-time job in order to make money after graduation from high school, then travel and study, and finally enroll in university. You can live if you have skills to live, even if you go abroad and come back to Japan after starting employment. It's up to your own free WILL.
There is an oppression regarded even as "culture" in Japan, a pressure to conform, as in the proverb "The nail that sticks out gets banged down" that could create an environment where there are people who kill themselves. Some call it the stresses of life. It is said that we "must" graduate from university in four years, or that we "have to" start working suddenly after graduation. Of course I don't deny that the elites work more and more, or that they go to travel. You can start something if you want to. I, actually, am not so intelligent compared with other university students where I go. So I dropped out of the competence. Escape is one of the means to live. I believe that one can find a place to stay beyond the escape from oppression.

(Translated by Tatsuya YABUUCHI,A Visiting Fellow at the Gap Year Institute of JGAP)